I’ve been meaning to check out some of Debbie Newhook’s conference call talk shows regarding covert harassment. Her talkshoe.com channel is called TI Activism. Tune into the next call/show to add your perspective and/or ask questions (visit the link for more info or to listen to past recordings).

I just got done listening to the September 6th, 2009 episode and wanted to touch on some of the topics discussed, as well as some of my related perspective. This is part of a series about ‘living in the now’, which takes place once a week for the next couple of weeks. The next event takes place on September 13, 2009 –if the time is the same, it will be at 7:00PM Eastern time.

Some topics discussed as I noted them while listening (not comprehensive list):

• Tug of war metaphor (the perps hold one end of the rope, the target holds the other -how to let go and the other tuggers tumble)
• facing the conflict / negative emotions – (concept that meditation or these meditative-like techniques are not running from the problem, but confronting it)
• find the pain mentally
• organic thoughts/emotions can be used against a target – (using these types of attacks as opportunities to clean up those negative associations)
• physical tactics used to trigger negative emotions to open attack channels -
• releasing negative emotions as a shield -
• what to do when attack channel is already open:find the center
• Debbie talks about what she did to move from reactionism toward regaining her perspective, how meditation and visualization have played a big role in seeing a reduction in harassment
• The last portion of the call show covers several participant’s questions and perspectives, and several bits of tactics and tech research/history are discussed, as well as some discussion about how to deal with family members who think the target is delusional.

Along the lines of what to do when one finds themselves in the middle of an attack, Julian said many interesting things here about cases where one finds oneself awash in a deep negative emotion. He says that while sometimes there may be a clear thought that seems to be at the root of the attack connection [my phrase], he prefers to focus on the emotion itself because the thought is likely to have the effect of creating more emotion. –the idea here being to refind one’s center by finding where the attacks ‘got in’ or connected with our own internal beliefs so that we began to confuse between the two (internal and external thoughts) -at which point, oftentimes simple exploration like this renders the attack impotent.

I think both Debbie and Julian have some very helpful insight about these kinds of experiences. I would add that for me, what has happened during several instances like this where I’m suddenly overwhelmed with fear and horrific thoughts, as difficult as it has been I just keep looking through the warped lens, and eventually this helps me see how absurd or illogical it is. Slowly but surely my stronger Knowns shine through and I can start putting the extreme emotion in perspective.

Case in point: Just before I finally googled-out a label ‘gang stalking’ for what I’d been experiencing for about 3 years at the time, I was attending a Skinny Puppy concert here in Houston. Five or six people had planted themselves around me so as to bring up themed conversation, with one being more of a key player meant to deliver the more meaningful triggers as things unfolded. I even engaged some of these people in friendly conversation since it seemed like that’s what they wanted, bringing up ‘synchronistic’ places/people –I was really just oblivious (though it was a bit unlikely, the synchronous mentionings) at that point and had been trying hard not to let the very negative experiences of the prior 3 years color my experience (turns out ignoring the problem doesn’t make it go away, as effective as it can be to ignore stalkers themselves ;P). Mostly I tuned them out once things got started because I was there to see SP!

Some time into the concert there was shoving from these people though no one else there was really in a shoving mood. I rolled with this, but a while later started feeling strong currents of foreboding. Just feelings of imminent danger and dare I say, evil. There is no explaining, it’s just a wave of irresistible suggestion to feel like something really terrible and bloody is about to happen and it’s aimed at me– that’s all the emotion had to offer my perspective when it first hit. I’d felt this before at larger gatherings with more free form expression going on, like concerts during this period of time, so it wasn’t completely new (I think this is manufactured coincidence more than says something about the airways being more open at such events –though I DO think the latter tends to be true as well // I think that some of these artistic events attract some very interesting dynamics).

As in the other situations, I removed myself from the situation and found a relatively quieter spot in a bathroom stall and just tried to figure out what the fuck had tipped things on their side. It’s difficult to describe to someone who has not felt something like this, but it’s not as though the power of thought, will or perspective enters in here when one of these attacks is launched, they must be encouraged, as this type of fugue state is being afloat in suddenly turbulent seas -it takes a moment or several to find one’s bearings again. As I sat there, the dreadful emotions not going anywhere, though the intensity had died down once I was alone, I started to see the effects of the thoughts and emotions I was having. I knew that it was exceedingly unlikely that a large group of people would all turn against me, yet these thoughts and emotions were trying to convince me that any moment they would all swarm and …[several very vivid and horrible scenarios tried to play out in my mind's eye]. So, in this case, I still felt the extreme emotions, but as I just analyzed them and the external factors, they started having less and less impact on my experience of reality –the illusion began to dissipate. . .

As  I walked out of the bathroom I noticed the twinges of these thoughts and emotions reflecting back at me from the people I passed by. I played at seeing through the lens of ‘extreme persecution’, and saw how that colored things, then switched to ‘persecution doesn’t exist‘ lens, and saw how that colored my experience or impression of the next people I passed. By the time I made it back to my spot in the crowd, I was still shaken up, but there was a release, as Julian describes in this talk show. I was able to stand there among the barbs and arrows being flung from the ‘perps’ situated around me, see around/above it all, tune back into the beautiful flowing experience of the music, and see an even deeper layer to this music I love and how it comments on exactly this type of dynamic, grateful tears for that ‘now’ and understanding. Eh, on a side note, I could have just physically moved to a different spot, but I hadn’t really believed or understood that the physical positioning was a big factor, helping to create an illusion of greater power behind the negative messages, and could have been short circuited by simply moving across the floor to another spot. For what it’s worth, though, seeing through it while being surrounded by it, was a big opportunity so it happened the way it needed to, apparently. )

Getting back to the most recent talk show, Julian brings up a very useful point –sometimes these types of attacks are thoughts that are projected toward a target, but sometimes they simply remind the target of their own past negative emotion. He says that we might as well use it as an opportunity to clean up those associations so that the next time that past event comes up it will not be as clouded by the negative associations and emotion. I agree/relate very much with what Julian said about having slowed the mind down enough to begin to see the difference between the internal and external thoughts/influences, or how external ones might repeat like a rhythmic reminder –seeing that there are various traits or ways that thoughts present themselves which give them away as not being our own consciously piloted mental focus. In a way, each external thought interjection comes in a complete little package. If you look closely enough you can see a alot about underlying motivation, what the goal of the program is, even who sent it, or which part of your mind it was able to plugin into and cause such upset.

More practically speaking, Julian frames the technique one might use in one of these situations of being overwhelmed by negative thoughts and/or emotions. He says that if there is a definite strong emotion, to stare into the emotion until you find ‘the now’ (find the closest clear negative emotion). If the emotion is not strong or clear, find a thought that seems connected to how the attack unfolded. I think the reasoning is the same, though he uses different descriptors -the idea is to take a step back so that you can compare the thoughts and emotions with the rest of your normal knowledge and ability to think critically. As Julian said, when you’re in the now, it’s like getting a fresh start. The thoughts stop and you can see from a greater vantage point.

Another key flavor of this kind of negative interference is where everything starts ‘taking on meaning’, as Julian says. I know this one quite well. As discussed in the talk show, the term ‘technology’ is used to describe the means through which these kinds of negative interjections are aimed into one’s thoughts and emotions. Some people feel that physical (harware) technology is used, and others that it is all mental. I think that the ‘technology’ is rather an aspect of nature, and as some learn to utilize these frequencies of suggestion, they decide to use them to control others, and this forms a catalyst for target’s to develop their own understanding of these frequencies, which involves -at some level- learning to distinguish between organic and manufactured thoughts and emotions. I agree that it’s like a computer or database of my weaknesses or likes/dislikes takes over when a negative loop is generated through triggering –after several interactions like this it was as if I was interacting with a sentient program, or agent handler. sort of off-topic, so I’ll leave of from that tangent for now.

how to find the now in any situation

A key point in the talk show is Julian’s suggestion about how one might deal with a situation where a target is someplace where they begin to feel this type of slanting of perspective where everything begins to take on heavy meaning -words spoken, connections in printed words on a sign, or lyrics to the song playing, etc. He says that as soon as you feel this change, tune into your body. Feel the chair you are sitting in. Feel the objects on the table you’re sitting at. Take a drink of your coffee and experience the taste of it. By fully engaging oneself in your own activities and sensations, without judgment, this provides a natural shielding against any attack– if you remove your mind from the tug-of-war, the tuggers on that end tumble // there is no purchase point, no connection through which an attack can fully manifest.

Of course the above is an example, and the available props or sensations in your case will be different. This can also be practiced at any time by focusing on the regular mundane activities that we do each day. When you are washing the dishes, wash the dishes, when you are sweeping the floor, sweep the floor. The effect seems to be that focusing on ‘the now’ cuts off all worry related to living in the past or anticipating the future.

I tend to really get into the deeper philosophical stuff, and Julian happened to talk more from this angle, so I commented on those a lot, but don’t mean to take away from what Debbie talked about. Her views on the personal development that she’s experienced are very interesting and potentially useful for other TIs to resonate with. I also find her explorations of how organized stalking is connected to spiritual development to be very interesting.

Anyway, check out the talk show if you’d like to hear more about these topics. Pretty exciting project Debbie has undertaken. To Debbie- Thanks for organizing and providing this venue for TIs to connect and compare perspective. To readers- Tune into the next call/show to add your perspective and/or ask questions and check out Debbie’s website: http://osnanaimo.org/ . Also, feel free to register for the forums on this site and add your perspective about the show to this thread (you must be a member to see the forums -register here).